Re: Tangled

In my previous post I wrote: I stopped writing fiction because I need to understand reality, before I can write fiction again.

It was one of those sentences that come into my head when I least expect them but they are crystal clear as to how I feel inside after elaborating for some time.

With regard to the comments from Diane and Magnolia (thanks so much BTW, I'll be visiting your blogs in a little while)...it's funny because ever since I posted I've been thinking along the same lines...If I wait until I fully understand everything, I will never write a word of fiction because it takes a lifetime and possibly more, to understand real life. The writing bug keeps chomping at the bit. Maybe I should just barge ahead and muddle through it all, writing as I go.

Diane and Magnolia...thanks for the kick in the butt :-).

Tangled

I stopped writing fiction because I need to understand reality, before I can write fiction again.

Amethyst

The art of listening

Are you a chatter-box or a listener? Can you be both?

This is something I hadn't given much thought to until a week ago when we discussed it in a group I'm part of.

I am a regular chatter-box, even by e-mail, but I had always thought of myself as a good listener. There are, of course, reasons why I have such a voracious need to express my thoughts and opinions. There's always a reason and it's usually embedded in our past, a maxim I like to adopt for the characters in my novels as well as to discover more about myself and the people around me. But that's not the topic of my blog post. My attention today is focused on the verb 'to listen'.

What does listening really entail? The dictionary defines it as follows: to pay attention, to hear something with thoughtful attention, to give consideration, to be alert, to catch the unexpected.

Do we really do all of the above when we listen? We may think so, but more often than not, we don't. I've noticed that when someone is talking to me, I want to listen and I am honestly armed with good intentions but the truth is, a form of empathy makes me personalize what I'm hearing, and my thoughts fly to the time when I experienced a similar feeling. In order to make the other person feel better I can't wait to tell them how much like them I felt in the past and how much I understand them.

What do chatter-boxes do in these cases? They interrupt. With the best of intentions, but they do interrupt. Yet, what the other person needs is not to hear about our problems, or for us to find a solution, but for us to listen to theirs.

I'll try to think of that next time a friend or relative needs a good listener.

Quotes

Here are two quotes of mine...light bulb moments when my mind is prone to philosophise ;-).

"Want to know more about writing conflict in romance novels? Get married!" Amethyst

"I looked inside myself and got lost in the labyrinth." Amethyst